I consider myself a very strong person and it takes a crapload to make me shed a tear. I do realise that as we grow up, we are expected to hide our emotions. And crying is most times perceived as a sign of weakness.
Should crying be gender-specific?
I remember one time I cried at work in view of everyone. I couldn’t hold it together. It wasn’t a loud cry but continuous stream of tears kept pouring down my face. I just couldn’t control it. I felt it was one of my weakest moments ever, especially in a professional environment. Then I read somewhere that it takes a strong person to actually cry.
I have been around men that say they would not be caught dead crying in public or private.
Why is there such a stigma around such a beautiful and deep expression of being human? Or being real? Or to be in touch with your real self and real emotions?
It seems you can’t win either way. In the era of boss chics and boss ladies, we all need to show strength. The ability to compete in a tough world may sometimes cloud our ability to be real humans.
I actually see a lot of strength in a man or even a woman who cries. Most Especially when life hits hard. I feel their humanity and vulnerability and I feel a sense of connection I otherwise wouldn’t have felt.
My opinion about crying
I have a different opinion about crying. By this, I don’t mean crying at every given chance you get.
But when there is a true reason like losing a loved one to death or any other form of loss. Or maybe facing a huge disappointment in life, it would be insane in my opinion to hold it in. Especially if the sole reason is how you will be perceived.
I think crying should be applauded not shamed.
Ugly cry anyone?
As females, we try to cry pretty. Oftentimes, it is to keep our makeup in check or not to be perceived as a crybaby. I am not here to judge you! As you probably have figured out by now, I am a firm believer in doing you. I believe you should trust the guiding light within. So whatever your preference is, just let it out and you will be glad you did.
However, I must say, if you do need an ugly cry, please don’t fake a pretty one. This would dwarf the benefit of letting it out, to begin with. If you must, then seek a private space but please let it out would you?
What happens when we cry?
There has been a surge in suicide and depression. I believe this is as a result of people not knowing when, where or how to vent. We live in a society of so many rules and these rules need not be applied to our wellbeing.
People need to learn how to breathe again. And seek ways to vent and let go of the steam pilling up within. Crying is one of the ways.
You may already know this but there are benefits to crying. Some include a calming effect, stress reduction, enhanced mood and as a sleep aid.
But most importantly for me is that you will be able to get the needed support from loved ones. It is sort of a window to your soul and I encourage you to let the right people peep through.
Back to Amy on Love Island
I was shocked at myself today when Amy was leaving the Love Island villa and I began crying.
What is the connection with someone I don’t even know? She wasn’t even one of my favourite girls in the villa.
I quickly realised it was down to a heart state we both share. Despite knowing nothing about each other.
You see, Amy was heartbroken by a man she truly loved and her first real love encounter. He moved on to a different girl. However, she took an honourable bow. Left the villa. To see him chase his love interest and hopefully find the happiness he truly deserves.
How heart-wrenching it could be. Watching the one you love living out your dreams with someone else whilst you stand on the sideline.
I do applaud Curtis for not holding back but letting it all out as well.These are 2 amazing people with good hearts.Bad relationships could birth great friendships.
My Amy experience
I am a hopeless romantic. I was truly in love with someone I felt was special and was going to be mine forever. Things didn’t quite work out. I will spare you the details. One thing I would say is, I loved him enough to let him go.
There were things he wanted and I deeply desired for him to have them. I knew I would never be able to afford him those things. Therefore, I was willing to give up my gratification to see him at his happiest.
It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make in my entire life. Considering he was my first true and only love. This void is yet to be filled.
Sometimes love means giving up yourself and your needs to make someone’s journey better. I have to say that my actions were met with a backlash. It was sad and disappointing at the same time that my true heart intentions were never seen. Rather I was hurt, shamed and abused as a result.
Seeing Amy today and crying as I did make me realize how noble my actions were. You will be misunderstood in life. Regardless of the situation, never forget to remain true to yourself and never lose the goodness of your heart.
Thanks, Amy for making me realize that love goes beyond self and knowing there is a beauty in letting go. It takes a lot of strength and heart to give up who or what you truly love. And just like a bird watch them fly away.
To the strong and loving women and men out there, I salute you!
Remember, I am here as a shoulder to lean on. Reach out to me if you need to. You have a friend in me.